True Love

I entertained the pictures of red and pink Valentine hearts swirling and falling and dancing everywhere around me. Every time I turn my thoughts to the Lord lately I feel him pressing the urgency of knowing – and flowing in – His love. So, this shower of “love” seemed a welcome and expected vision of Jesus’ love for me. It wasn’t romantic, but it was … “sweet”. Sugary sweet.

Ugh. Suddenly I knew this was just my mind creating in pictures what is commonly associated with love.

The picture morphed to a Jesus-looking man down on one knee before me, crying and pleading for my returned affection – after all, he had given so much and longed for my response. I surveyed the scene for but a moment and cast it away, for it as well was no more than a failed attempt of my soul to define love.

Then I pictured a man in a dirty white robe carrying a cross up a hill. The reality that scene represents is surely the most profound act of love ever to exist on earth, but even this came from the woeful inadequacy of my imagination.

“Then what is true love?” I whispered in frustration to the dark. As I strained to see the definition that escaped my expectations, an unsettling feeling came over me – an emotion so foreign I could grasp neither words nor mental image of it for more than a second. It was such a continuous flow of pure, unselfish action that my mind had nowhere to file it. It was a pouring out of selfless service with no expectation of reciprocation. It flowed from a heart capable of receiving love and service in return, but IN-capable of either demanding it or pleading for it. My words are empty in describing its other-centered purity.

I wept with incapacity to hold what I was trying to behold. How many times have I prayed, “Pour out your love to me. Make me love like You!” Yet, THIS Love! - I was not sure I wanted this Love! This Love would annihilate my ambition and demolish my flesh. It would blow up my ideas of sweet, self-righteous servanthood while it bulldozed my expectations of even getting appreciated. This Love WOULD carry a cross up a hill, while telling those it saved, “Don’t even weep for Me.” It would give everything and demand nothing. THIS Love was scary. I’d never experienced anything like it and knew it exists nowhere within my natural character. It is so big, I could not hold it for more than a mere moment and continue to fail to understand it.

Is this really the Love with which He loves me?

What if I let that realization sink into me?

What if I somehow allowed even a drop of it to flow from me to others?

What if this is the Love with which He intends for us to love God and love our neighbor...

What if we don’t . . . can’t . . . and He continues to love us anyway? Not because he has obligated himself, but because True Love is incapable of anything less?

What if the Love of God really is “shed abroad in our hearts THROUGH THE HOLY GHOST” ? For that is the miracle it would take to receive it. (Rom 5:5)

Poured Out

Poured out upon the alter,
He bridges time and space
His blood between the cherubs –
The embodiment of grace

Never does he falter
Though with pain and sorrow sighs
One hand in God’s, one hand in mine,
Triumphantly he dies

Mortality’s undoing -
Adam’s life is spilled.
He, draped across the mercy seat,
All righteousness fulfilled.

Trusting and Declaring

If you know me, you know I've been on a kick about making declarations for a while.  Prophetic declarations that initiate and integrate the realities of Heaven into the realm of the Seen.  This is based on the authority we have in Christ and is modeled by Jesus over and over again in the Gospels.  Sometimes we see results immediately and sometimes we have to keep declaring. (A favorite motto the Lord gave me a while back is: "Prophecy yourself out of your gunk!")  Sometimes we have to keep declaring Truth to ourselves so that we even come to really believe the thing we are declaring!

That's why it seemed so important to me when I realized that there is something much greater than declaring and that is TRUSTING.  In fact, just trusting is more powerful, though they could certainly go together. 

Here's the important distinction: 
I Declare because I trust God and believe that His will is being carried out in Heaven.  I do not trust that the thing I desire will come to pass just because I am declaring it.  The first is God-worship.  The second is self-worship.

Say the Name

"A sweeter sounding word,
   these lips have never said.
A gentle name so beautiful,
  my heart cannot forget.
Just a whisper is enough
  to set my soul at ease.
Just thinking of this name
   brings my heart to peace."*

Ah, the name of a lover is honey on the lips.  The mouth forms the word by heart and lets it escape with a smile.  It's mere sound carries a scent and a sillouette, as it stills the heart and flips the stomach.   It rings with desire, with affection, and with security. I'll say the name....  

There is a name I whisper to the fears of the night and with the sighs of the dawn.  Sometimes I feel a little foolish repeating it in the grocery store or at the dinner table "just because."  With this name we heal the sick and cast out demons.  By it, we implore the heavens and bring down strongholds.  Many are aquainted with its power and whip it out like a sword or an edict.

But how often do we whisper that name like the name of lover?  Does it escape your lips like a contented sigh on a sun-drenched day?  Does it fly like a kiss, gentle and warm, as you caress the memory of the one who loves you more than you've ever been loved before?  In that dreamy space between wake and sleep, does it roll over and over your tongue until you can nearly taste its sweetness?  Do you blush at its intimacy?


To say the Name that way -- well, it's like holding his hand or touching his cheek.  It is savoring every last drop of its meaning.  It is not irreverant or overuse.  To have it so close, to relish its power and its peace, delights the one to whom it belongs and draws him nearer still.  To cradle it in the conscious soothes the soul and opens the heart to love. 

"I will say this holy name, no matter who agrees,
  for no other name on earth means so much to me.
I'll say the name . . . 
    Jesus"*

* song lyrics: "Say the Name" by Margaret Becker & Charlie Peacock, 1993

Dance like David Danced

Last week I began to feel the real dance of David.  It is a dance that rejects all dignity and loses all sense of self.

In the back of the auditorium as the worship leader sang, I twirled and stomped and jumped and flailed.  My long necklace threatened to fly in my face and it had to come off.  My shoes had already found their place under the row of chairs, but soon my socks were annoying me as they scuffed on the new carpet and I tossed them in a corner.  My sweater was cumbersome. Off it came.  My earrings stuck in my flying hair. They too had to go.  Anything else and I probably would have gotten arrrested! 

I danced for justice.  I danced for mercy.  I danced for the rows of spectators all facing forward, numbly glued to their chairs.  I danced because God is holy. 

As I peeled off the layers of my identity for the freedom of the spirit, I heard the jeers of Michal ring in my head as if the words were aimed at me:   "How the king of Israel distinguished himself today! He uncovered himself... as one of the foolish ones....!"   It really hit me what David did when he danced "with all his might, girded with a linen ephod" before the ark of God.  (See 2 Samuel 6)  This wasn't a guy off the street in his boxers and tank.  This was the king of a mighty nation, who was shedding, bit by bit, all the signs and symbols of his authority as king!  His purple robe - it was cumbersome.  His crown - it was heavy.  His signet ring - it probably flew right off his finger!  His breastplate.  His jewels.  His shoes.  His scepter.  All the trappings of his very God-given identity! It all came off.

God became his identity.

Jesus, too, shed his identity as King.  Every right, privelege, and "perk" of being God, he forever thrust aside for a greater purpose, and now I was being challenged to do the same.  I was being challenged to do more than shed the outer accessories of my wardrobe, or even the tattered remnants of my reputation, in this wild dance.  I was being asked to clear the temple the way Jesus cleared the temple for the zeal of his father's house. Only this time, I was the temple.  And his zeal was his love for me.

To "dance like David danced" is not a form or even a ferver; it is an attitude that crucifies self for the love of someone higher.  It is a clearing away of all that is not worship.  It is abandonment of all I've achieved, all I've become, and all that I clutch for security.  It is Trust.  It is an exchange of fear for freedom, entitlement for abundance, proving myself for the relief of having nothing to prove.  At the end of my justifications, in the purity of my nakedness, I finally fix my gaze on him, the One who made me and loves me with everlasting love.  In the reflection of his eyes alone, I finally see beyond the garb of identity to who I really am.... his beloved, his priceless creation.

And I dance.  For sheer joy.

Acknowledging God

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.  In all your ways, acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths."

 I do trust God -- on the surface -- don't you?  I give lip service to his being in control of world events and believe in my heart that He is my eternal savior. Having memorized this oft-quoted verse since my childhood, I'd come to believe that if I acknowledge the sovereignty of God in my life (or, as some translations say, "make him known" to others) that he is obligated to straighten out my paths and make the way before me easy and sure. Yet, nearly every time I ask to hear his voice of direction lately, the only words I comprehend are "Trust Me." 

In order to trust God, we've got to give up our own understanding of things.  The Hebrew word "Understanding" in this verse is  biynah, which according to Strong's Concordance  means "knowledge, meaning, [idiomatically] perfectly" and comes from biyn the meanings of which include: "separate mentally (or distinguish); attend, consider; be cunning; diligently; feel, inform, instruct, have intelligence; look well to, perceive, be prudent.... be skillful; think....."  There are many verses in Proverbs that tell us to seek this kind of understanding, but Prov 3:5 says that leaning on our own version of these things keeps us from trusting God, and honestly, if we do lean on this understanding, it is sin.  Frankly, thinking is one my biggest problems -- I get to thinking, and can't stop.  I roll things over and over in my head, according to my own understanding.  And when I can't stop thinking, I can't start trusting. 

"Trust" is batach and has a much deeper meaning that is going to take some meditating upon to really soak it in.  It is a primitive root that literally means "refuge" and by extension has come to mean "to trust, be confident, or sure; be bold (confident, secure, sure); careless; make to hope; (put, make to trust)."

So let me reword that cliche-sounding verse that we think we all know so well:
"Be confident, bold, and even careless or carefree, as you make yourself hope in the Lord and stay within the refuge of him.  Be fully confident and secure in his ability to take care of you.  Do not depend on your intelligence, cunning, or prudence.  Your consideration and perception are insufficient, so let go of them and stop looking to your mind's ability to properly sort things out or instruct you in any way."

The next phrase expounds on this meaning:  "In all your ways acknowledge him.... "
What does acknowledge mean these days?  My Microsoft thesaurus links it to words like recognize or greet.  When you're in a conversation and someone else walks in the room, you might smile or nod toward them to acknowledge their presence.  If someone does something important, their companny may give them a  VIP award and ask them to make a speech, in order to "acknowledge" their accomplishment.  But is that the kind of acknowledgement that makes the Almighty stoop down from heaven and take notice of my little path? Perhaps it is giant fanfare that he wants, or non-stop witnessing?  Look at what Strong's says: yada = "to know (ascertain by seeing)" It includes "... acquainted with... assuredly... be aware; for a certainty; comprehend, consider, discover; familiar friend; famous; feel; kinsman; (cause to) know; lie by a man... mark, perceive, privy to...."  This is much different than what I've ever been taught!  So let us again rephrase the cliche:
"In all your ways, know God!  Ascertain who he is by seeing him!  Become acquainted with and comprehend him with certainty, as you would a relative or dear familiar friend.  Discover who he is.  Perceive what he is doing and by familiarity become privy to his secrets... and he will direct your paths."

See, it's not about manipulation.  "If I make a big enough deal about God, he'll help me."

Nor is it about assumption.  "I know God (as in, I'm saved), so whatever comes across my path must be his will."

It is about intimacy.  A well-cared for child does not ask permission from her parents on every tiny little detail.  She is acquainted with them and what they would do or ask of her.  She knows what they will say because she has already studied them and knows their habits and character.  They have told her things they haven't told other children; she has been let in on family secrets that help her understand their choices and idiosyncracies... even understand herself. When her own understanding fails her, she can come into the refuge of their greater knowledge, let go of her cares and leave her troubles to their trustworthy wisdom. All because she "knows" them.

No earthly parent truely or adequately fills the above scenario, but whether your parents come close or are the complete antithesis, God is perfect.  He is trustworthy.  He is know-able.  Knowing him, and not our mind, will direct our paths.

The ABC's

Accessing
Blessing for a
Creative
Destiny and
Everlasting
Favor,
Gaining
Heaven through
Intimacy with
Jesus, and
Keeping
Love's
Majesty
Near, we
Open
Portals to
Quintessential
Revelation and
Shining
Truth for
Utterly
Victorious
Warfare and
eXploits in
Yeshua's
Zeal.

I'm Here

Just before Christmas I was helping my mom and dad retrieve the boxes and boxes of Christmas treasures from the attic via a tall metal ladder.  Mom, crouching in the small crawl space handed me box after box as I stood half-way up the ladder.  I, in turn, would hand down each box to my dad who would stack them in piles on the garage floor.  Presently, there was a hold up in the assembly line and Dad announced that he was going to take a stack inside and disappeared, boxes in hand, through the kitchen door.  Meanwhile, a large flat box of ornaments began descending toward me and I took the cumbersome load in my hands.  Thinking I'd take it all the way down the ladder myself, I began inching backward only to find the box pulled my weight awkwardly to the side and that my elbows and belly were not the greatest at gripping ladder rungs!  Suddenly, I heard a voice below me. 

"I'm here!" 

I looked and saw no one.  Only brown cardboard filled my vision. Nonetheless, without a second thought, I dropped the cumbersome load into what might have just as well been thin air -- and it held, caught by Dad's ready hands.  It was only then that I saw him... his face peering up at me from behind the large box that was now his to deal with. 

"I'm here."  .... I had heard the words and instantly trusted. 
I couldn't see him.  I hadn't heard him come back through the door.  I had no sense whatsoever that anyone was below me.... My precarious predicament had captured all of my attention, yet in one fraction of a second I recognized his voice and knew that if he said he was there, he was.

Suddenly my heart filled with faith as the experience became a Word, quickened to my spirit.  I remembered some time ago praying to know God in a new way.  I said, "God, tell me one of your names... "  In my heart one word resounded:  HERE.  I said, "Yes, I know you're here, but what is your name?"  Again I heard firmly, "Here."  Here?  Could that really be a name of God, the ever present one? (smile)  I pondered this conundrum and only a few days later stumbled across a blessing, in the name of Jehovah-Shammah, The Lord Who is There (I guessed here vs there is a matter of perspective:  it's there to heaven; here to me)  In Ezekiel 48:35 God promises his presence to his exiled people, naming the new Jerusalem, "The Lord is There."

I know he wanted to remind me of this by letting me act out this quick living parable. "I'm here."  How often have the precarious predicaments of life overwhelmed my vision, making help seem so far away?  How often have I struggled under the awkward weight of circumstances, trying to make a safe landing on my own? How often have I neither seen nor heard nor felt the presence of Help, only to find it waiting expectantly for me drop my load into trustworthy hands? 

"I'm here."   I recognize his voice, and if he says he is here, he is.  I just need to let go.

Read someone else's wonderful message on the meaning of Jehovah Shammah.

Trust

Trust is an action.
It is a choice to
   not fear
      or worry
         or fret
             or control.

It is a cellular shift in
   the brain
      the shoulders
         the stomach
            the legs.

It is a purposed thought that
   changes neural pathways
       shifts cellular metabolism
           reduces tension
               shuts off cortisol.

It is a command to
   still the mind
      relax the muscles
         open the lungs
              release the fear.

It is a mindset that
    resists the devil
       breaks the cycle
           stirs up faith
              opens spiritual eyes.

Trust is an action.

To be or not to be?

To be or not to be?  That IS the question.

Will I BE happy     or     NOT be sad?
Will I BE healthy   or      NOT be riddled with disease?
Will I pursue life    or      avoid dying?
Will I hunger for righteousness      or      try to NOT sin too bad?

These seeming opposites are not two sides of the same coin.  They are completely different currency.
For me, starting again today,
I will choose
to be.

What will you choose?

The Word Manifested

A couple weeks ago I was laying in bed, just talking to the Lord about my life, when what looked like a Power Point screen dropped down on the back of my eyelids.  Words flashed on the beige-colored background:

"And the angel is"

Next, glowing, underlined letters scrolled in from the left:

"Pathways, Excellence"

I took this to mean that the Lord was sending me an angel (or maybe two), to help open up paths in my life and lead me in an excellent way.  I began thanking and praising God.  But, as much as I appreciate them, this post is not about angels.  I am deeply in love with Jesus and wherever there is revelation of Him is where I will hang my heart.  So, while this vision has a story in itself, I just want to share the simple revelation of (and appreciation for) the person, Jesus, that it led to. 

After seeing this image, I began telling the Lord I needed some kind of manifestation, at least a picture to go along with it.  "Pathways". . . "excellence,"  . . . these are just words.  How do I relate to that?  How can I cooperate with letters on a screen?  If this is real, then make it realistic! 

Then my thoughts turned to God himself.  What was it like to try to know God before He manifested Himself?  When He seemed like just words?  A few in the Old Testiment heard His voice, felt His wind, interacted with His Angel, or witnessed His fire.  But to the great majority of mankind, He was a Word written in a scroll or uttered from the mouth of a prophet or priest.  What faith they must have had to follow an incomprehensible God known only through words!  How long must they have cried out, "Lord, we need some kind of picture to go along with this! How can we cooperate with letters on a page?  If this is real, then make it realistic!"

And finally, He answered their prayer!

Even though Messiah was crucified before the foundation of the world, and all God intended for mankind could have been (and was) accomplished in the spiritual realm, He heard the cry of men to be able to relate, and He took His Word -- everything that was known about Him from all the ages -- and made it flesh.

He is the Word, written and spoken, and the Word is all that He is.  That alone is enough, but WE needed a manifestation beyond symbols, and so He gave it. When Phillip said that all He wanted was to see the Father -- God, the creator, that ancient invisible word he'd heard all his life and never quite been able to grasp -- Jesus said, Here I am.  If you've seen Me -- this flesh, this personality, this manifestation -- you have seen the invisible God that you crave. 

Now quantum physics is beginning to explain the spirit realm in unimaginable ways.  Words, appearantly both spoken and written, can evoke power to bring about changes in physical entities.  Scientists talk about the "fingerprint of God" at subatomic levels.  The line between spirit-energy and hard matter is becoming increasingly blurred.  It's amazing! And confusing.  I don't understand it, and this morning I wept as I realized how alone I would feel if I did not have a picture and stories of a Person who really lived on Earth, like me, who was the physical image of the non-physical God. 

I know Him now through the work of the Holy Spirit, and yes, because God has poured out his Spirit of revelation in these last days, I have encountered Him in manifestations that have turned my body to jello.  But would I recognize His face, or His nail-pierced hands, if He had not become flesh and died a physical death?  I would love to have an angel named Pathway manifested to me so that I may know all the meaning that is held in that word and how to relate to it.  Better still, all that the Word "God" means is already manifested in the person of Jesus, who not only became flesh on earth but continues to be manifested as a man in the heavenly realm. 

Yes, I believe it's possible to know and experience God through words, through nature and music, through a feeling inside us, and through miraculous signs and wonders.  I also believe that the most precious sign and wonder of all is that "the Word became flesh and dwelt among us and we beheld" - and continue to behold - "His glory" (John 1:14).

Wanna ride?

Once having laid ourselves upon the Corner Stone of Christ and his work, what is next? It isn’t enough to be dogmatic about the foundation of our faith. We’ve got to LIVE that faith. We are to be built together to be a living temple of living stones (1 Pet 2:4).

Recently the Lord keeps bringing back a vision that I had last summer. I had been contemplating horses because I’d had several horse dreams and knew that they represented self-effort, personal striving, the sweaty work of human flesh. Suddenly I saw myself wrestling with a big brown horse. It had a bit and bridle on and I thought that it was trained, but it was not doing anything I wanted. I was trying to get on it to ride but I could not control it or accomplish anything by trying to tame it. I was getting really frustrated. Suddenly out of the corner of my eye I saw the foot of another animal step into my frame of reference. It was not a horse’s hoof. It was a paw. A huge, golden-colored paw. I guess I let go of the horse and looking up, found myself face-to-chest with a gigantic lion. I could see the straps of a halter or some kind of riding gear buckled across his chest. Instinctively I knew WHO it was and involuntarily fell on my face in the presence and sight of the majesty that surrounded him. After a few moments I sheepishly looked up and asked “May I ride you?” I just wanted to ride! He shook his mane and somehow caused me to stand to my feet. As I stood up, a black, disgusting mass fell off of me. It lay on the ground beside me in a puddle shaped like a person. I was embarrassed that I had even asked to get near him with all that sin and filth attached. He said nothing but I saw his head bend down and his mouth move toward the black shadow. Then his pink tongue stuck out and he began to lap it up. My stomach literally turned and I became sick, because I knew what was in that disgusting, rotten mess. But here he was licking it all up, taking it into himself! It was his will to take all of the filth away from me, so that I could go with him.

The vision ended and I had a couple days to digest the impact of seeing the King of Glory literally “eat” the poison of my sin. I could hardly do anything but weep. Finally I sat down, and basically said, Okay, God, what next? What is living like now? May I ride you? How?

I saw myself climbing upon the back of that lion, but as soon as I got on his back, I disappeared down inside of him, and he began to fly. Going with him was like becoming one with the wind. The molecules of our individual beings came undone and wrapped around each other. [As I type this now, I realize it is actually similar to JoAnn McFatter’s description of a quantum physics explanation of the intertwining of the spiritual and physical realms. (I may get into this later, for now read The Elijah List April 2, 2010 posting)].

There is an aspect of reality to this concept that in our understanding we can never grasp. Jesus prayed, “That they all may be one, [just] as You, Father, are in Me and I in You, that they also may be one in Us.” (Jn 17:21). I think that by training our thoughts upon the finished work of Christ and all of its outcome, we become more and more embedded in Him and are able to move with Him rather than standing around wrestling with wild horses. We cannot tame our flesh. We can fall at his majesty and holiness, give our shame and striving to him, and become one with the Living God.

Francis Frangipane says “Let’s settle this truth once and for all: It is the nearness of God that produces our good. Christianity was never designed by God to be sustained by nice people trying to appear good. We’re not that good. We’re not that clever. And we’re not that nice. The only thing that can sustain true Christianity is true union with Jesus Christ. It is nearness to Him in all things that produces our spiritual fruit. … Therefore the strength of our walk does not originate from within ourselves; rather it comes from our relationship with Christ. Our virtue, if it can be defined as such, is that we have learned to prioritize seeking God and developing our oneness with Him. By this I mean, Jesus is not only first on our list of priorities; his influence rules over all our priorities. He inspires love in our relationships; His voice becomes the conviction in our integrity. God has made ‘Christ Jesus’ to be to us ‘wisdom … and righteousness and sanctification, and redemption’ (I Cor 1:30).”

The Stone of Justice, Part 2

People are really hungry for God these days, but this foundation He has insisted on for the building of his house and his kingdom, well, it really is a problem (1 Peter 2:1-10, see previous post). It's huge, after all. This one big, sturdy, obvious corner stone, has become an offense and sadly, a stumbling block in the path to God. Critics may insist there are many ways to God - any way they seek - but cutting up the ordained Foundation into many pieces does not result in more foundation, it results in sand -- something impossible to build on.

I am NOT disparaging the many varied and beautiful cultures around the world and their unique passions, priorities, and views of the divine. And I most definitely do not despise the diverse manifestations of Christ to individual hurting hearts. The living stones that make up God's temple are varied. God is vast, and his dwelling place has many rooms (John 14:2), but it has only one foundation.

Perhaps this foundation is so offensive not because it is big or singular, but because it is bloody. Perhaps it is rejected because it dresses in the garb of servanthood. Perhaps it is frightening because it claims to BE God. Perhaps it is despised because it cannot be found just anywhere. No, the passage says God laid this foundation in a particular favored spot. It is not in Mecca, or Athens, or Badrinath, or Sedona.
God divinely laid this choice stone in ZION.
He planted it.
In the ground.
On a hill.
Called Calvary.

This means that mankind is not good enough to reach God. It means to be in relationship with God, we must go through another. It means our sacrifice is insufficient. It means that God is not only gracious and forgiving, but he is also just. Our sin and insufficiency cannot be overlooked.

They can only be crucified.

It also means we are not God, nor above him, nor equal to him. It means that we have neither a clue how, nor an ounce of power to be able, to reach Him or get him into our lives. This is humiliating if you're trying to be divine - or religious - but actually it's really good news. It means we can stop trying so hard.

We can just fling ourselves onto that big, bloody slab and rest on what he has done.
Rest on what he is.

It may not get us fortune or fame or personal fulfilment. It certainly does not promise a life free of stupid mistakes or even theological confusion. But the promise of 1 Peter 2 is that those who believe - who lay their head, their thinking, their ideologies, their hopes and dreams of connection with God - on this tried and true Cornerstone will "not be disappointed."

The Stone of Justice, Part 1

God is big.  The world is big.  History is big. 
I am small and don't know nearly as much as I used to think I did.  There are so many theologies, so many ways of reaching out to connect with each other and that Something out there.  So many ways to hope to manipulate "God" into being and doing what makes us feel happy and successful and fulfilled.  What is right?  Who or what IS God, anyway?  And if I am not manifesting "success", am I somehow missing Him?  Is there some other thing that I'm not doing that would launch me into fulfillment? 

I know God is stretching my thinking, wriggling his way out of my theological box. 
It's annoying. 
And it's scarey.
And sometimes it hurts. So, a few days ago I asked specifically for a scripture that would bring healing to my confused, raw heart.  I heard "First Peter. 2. 9, 8, 3."   I asked the Lord what he wanted to talk to me about in the passage, and he told me, "Justice."  Hmmmm... I didn't have any idea what the verses said, nor do I know why they came to me backwards. But as I read it, my heart flamed with a joy and peace I hadn't felt in weeks. 
Here is the whole passage.

"Therefore, putting aside all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander, like newborn babies, long for the pure milk of the word, so that by it you may grow in respect to salvation, if you have tasted the kindness of the Lord. And coming to Him as to a living stone which has been rejected by men, but is choice and precious in the sight of God, you also, as living stones, are being built up as a spiritual house for a holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. For this is contained in Scripture: "BEHOLD, I LAY IN ZION A CHOICE STONE, A PRECIOUS CORNER stone, AND HE WHO BELIEVES IN HIM WILL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED." This precious value, then, is for you who believe; but for those who disbelieve, "THE STONE WHICH THE BUILDERS REJECTED, THIS BECAME THE VERY CORNER stone," and, "A STONE OF STUMBLING AND A ROCK OF OFFENSE"; for they stumble because they are disobedient to the word, and to this doom they were also appointed.  But you are A CHOSEN RACE, A royal PRIESTHOOD, A HOLY NATION, A PEOPLE FOR God's OWN POSSESSION, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light; for you once were NOT A PEOPLE, but now you are THE PEOPLE OF GOD; you had NOT RECEIVED MERCY, but now you have RECEIVED MERCY. "

At once my heart remembered its foundation!  Jesus - my living Stone!  Anchored again in truth, my heart was able to begin to soar again, to believe again, to trust again.  All week I have read and reread this passage like a toddler cuddling a blankie, even wanting to press the open bible to my chest or lay my head tenderly on its meaning. 

Jacob laid his head on a Stone.  After fleeing his father's house undoubtedly filled with questions of who God is and what is Justice, he came to a field and laid down to sleep, laying his head on a stone (Gen 13).  I know that Hebrew text never minces words or adds superlatives for the sake of sheer description, so there is meaning in this act.  Resting upon that hard rock, Jacob's eyes were open to the spiritual realm and he witnessed the commerce between heaven and earth that assured him (and us) there is a God to be known and a way to reach his dwelling place.  He did not receive this revelation by striving.   He receieved it by resting.  On a Stone.  The Stone.

 Psalm 37 tells us not to fret because there are those seeking other things who seem to prosper in their way. (Esau despised his birthright and took on the idolotrous culture around him, but guess who ended up getting to stay in the comforts of home?) The prosperity of the wicked will eventually become meaningless, but those who wait on the Lord will inherit his unending kingdom.  More than that, they inherit HIM!  That is the justice I got from from 1 Peter 2.  I don't have success and money and exciting vacations or the family I have always dreamed of.  But I have Jesus.  To a skeptic, that may be simplistic and foolish, but to a Lover.... oh, to a Lover, it is more than enough!  It is comfort and elation.  It is a satisfied sigh.  It is pure milk.  To one who has "tasted the kindness of the Lord (vs3)" it is indeed justice.  It is fair, because the comforts of the world will come and go.  And if that is what others seek after, then that is their reward.  But give me the Rock that doesn't fade away.  Give me that Man who was tortured for the sake of love.  Give me that Love.

Practiced Presence leads to Greater Presence

In this year of favor, there is a God to be known. Not known about, but experienced! Don't analyse it too much, just live it. Start with where you are, what you know, and practice that! In the "doing" of faith we get to the next level of faith. In the practice of God's presence we experience deeper, greater amounts of His presence.

Let us always be crying out for more. Let us never leave off seeking greater revelation. But let us absorb what we have already received and partake of what is already ours. Let us live as children of the house, not as beggars on the street pounding on the door of the home to which we already own the key!

Raw-er Relationship

The last couple weeks have been sorta broken-feeling and I've been cocooning. There's been a cracking of the outer shell of my being that I didn't realize was so stiff, a new peeling off of layers I didn't know were there. I feel raw . . . and alive and happy and sad and angry and relieved all at the same time.

Everything about life with God this year has been relationship relationship relationship. Life is supposed to be about knowing him, not just knowing what he can do, or what I can do with his power. But this stripping away of myself -- of my good deeds, my successes, my prophetic-ness -- has shown me just how self-absorbed I have been in my relationship with God.

A few days ago I threw myself on the bed and lamented in hopeless groanings. Have I ever been in relationship with God? Do I even know what relationship is? Have I ever had relationship with anybody? How do I know if I "know" another being? I thought of my mom and dad, whose home I share. Do I really know them? Do I really "have relationship" with them? In my brokenness I could see how surface-oriented and selfish our dealings with each other have been, and in my analysis of the situation deemed myself and all my so-called relationships unfit. . . even fraud. God, forgive me! I cried.

In the next instant it was if a ray of light broke through and I saw truth. In one sense, I DON'T know how to truly be in relationship -- that is, to truly "relate" to others. In another, it is downright silly for me to say that I do not have relationship with my parents whom I have loved and honored my whole life and with whom I now share living space, meals, work, and play. Perhaps we are each absorbed with our own concerns and there are indeed levels of intimacy that have not been (and may never be) tapped, but that does not mean that I do not know them or they me. It is the same with my God. I realized that in all my trying so hard to achieve relationship, I had forgotten what I had of it to begin with. I had started analyzing it instead of living it. God IS near at hand. His Spirit DOES live inside me. I DO think his thoughts after him. I have approached him often absorbed in my own concerns and there are indeed levels of intimacy I can barely imagine, let alone reach, but the God of the universe IS my friend!

I know, from personal experience, that he is funny, tender, forgiving, full of wisdom, and always knows where my car keys are! He speaks to me through spring flowers about who he is and what he's done. He lovingly corrects me through dreams and brings just the right book at just the right time. He gives me pictures of the knowing grin on his face as he walks beside me as if he has some giant secret up his sleeve, and whispers "I know how you feel" in response to my complaints. I know that he often prods, but never yells, sometimes scolds, but never shames, and like a patient teacher, finds new ways to tell me once again what he has already told me a hundred times before.

I know that knowing God really is impossible. I also know that he, himself, because of his great desire to know us, made the impossible possible when he became human flesh and died as a man to pay the unthinkable price of a torn veil.

And so, if he was willing to do that in order to know me, I will be willing to go through this breaking process to know him.... better. I will live this knowing into deeper and raw-er levels of relationship. Perhaps I should say, deeper and raw-er levels of "relating".

Peel away at the layers of my defenses, my Lover, my Friend . . . however raw I may feel. . . until you and I are one! There is no higher calling.

Being is Seeing

My last post ended a little abruptly and, I felt, a little on an intellectual note, but instead of getting myself any deeper into waxing-eloquence with no power behind it, I decided to wait and allow the Spirit to bring application into a clearer focus. There are a few things He began speaking to me about that, but first let me describe a "seeing" experience that is really about just being. But in that being, a knowing, a realization that causes you to "see."

This has been a pretty yucky week, though I've hard a hard time figuring out why. I have been under all kinds of striving, confusion, hypocrisy, guilt, and heaviness. I've been "trying" to reach God to seemingly no avail, but still knowing He would soon come through. Today, after some heavy conversations for which my mind had no logical argument but my spirit recoiled, the air was thick with intellectualism. As I drove to the worship meeting at church, I told the Lord I needed to see into the situation. I knew I wasn't clear on anything and could really only pray for deliverance from the befuddlement that wrapped around my head like a cloud. I entered the service late and figured it would take me a while to "catch up" in the spirit. But the Presence of the Lord was thicker than the cloud that hovered over me, and in moments I remembered why I love Him, need Him, delight in Him! Lightness and joy overtook me and it felt like a heavy, encumbering blanket fell off. It's like when you've been sick for so long you don't realize you're sick .... until you finally start to get well, and you think "Wow! I didn't know I could feel this good!" I could hardly contain myself from jumping all over the place, waving my arms wildly around in the air, and shouting "I love you I love you I love you Jesus!" I noticed people moving away from me, but what could I do? I was overwhelmed with the sense of freedom that is the essence of His presence.

Just in this awareness, I was "seeing". I was seeing that my struggle for the whole week had been against religion and headiness. I was seeing - though really just experiencing by being in it - that where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. I was seeing - by first hand understanding - that the spirit-life is not something you explain, it is something you live; that Paul was right when he said that words and logic won't do the trick, it just takes the power of God to make a difference. I was seeing alot about the situations and people I've been praying for and how the main thing is to pray for a visitation of the Holy One in our lives. You see, (uh, pun not intended), I was looking to "see" an explanation, when really all I needed was to "see" by "being" where God was, and getting changed.

Now, did I get to see, vision-wise? Oh yea. Not the explanation I was looking for, but - far better - the glory of the freedom of worshipping the one true God....

First everything was brilliant green: giant emeralds the size of temple pillars and an atmosphere of transparent aqua-marine, glistening and iridescent. It was air, and yet it had substance, like crystal. My thirst was quenched as I beheld it. As I got deeper into praise and closer to the throne, gold began to run down through the green and become swirled and entwined. I revelled in all God was giving me and the gold began to form into a fabric pattern and take on the form of ornamentation on a garment; then I saw large dark sapphire beads take shape that seemed to bind the gold to the green. Then golden ropes began to wrap themselves around me and tie me to the throne of God. These I willingly embraced, for they are not like the heavy weights of expectation and the reasoning of the world. They are the awesome privilege and liberty of being a bond-slave of Jesus the King. And what a King to be tied to! So beautiful, so life-giving. I gulped big breath-fulls of His clean air and of His Spirit.

When I got home, He gave me more ideas for my life, and then, then I saw Him sitting on my bed, sprawled out and laughing. I laid my head where I thought I saw His knee and just breathed Him in. I sensed He was about to speak and I held my breath for His majestic statement. You know what it was? "Tonight was great, huh?"

Lord! Tonight was great for You, too?! I guess I don't automatically think of things that way or that His message would be so simple and personal. But in this place of being with Him I "saw" that the swirling colors of heaven are the emotions of a personal God who, even as I revel in being His bond-slave, He calls me friend and delights in my presence as much as I delight in His.
Yes, I am beginning to see as He sees.

The Eye in the Wave

The other day I was talking to Desi about how many people are talking about seers and Eye of the Lord this year. From big name prophets to small town pastors, the Lord of the Eye is letting his people know that He is watching. As we wrapped up our conversation, I glanced up at a painting on my wall -- an oil-on-canvas seascape of crashing waves under a glowing sky. For the first time ever I saw - there in the middle of an arching wave - an eye. Clear and black, with perfect dark iris surrounded by the white and the clearly outlined lids. I don't know - maybe it was meant to be a rock in the surf, or it's just over-zealous shadowing in the painter's rendition of the water, but it jumped right out of that wave and I cannot look at the picture anymore without it staring at me.... and speaking to me.
Ayin.
God sees.
He sees me. From the wave of His glory He watches. In the waves of our tempest He sees our condition. His eye beholds the sea of humanity.

I believe He is calling us these days to see as He sees, in the middle of the waves. When we believe that He sees, we will cry out for deliverance. But when we see as He sees, we will rest in peace.

In the well known story of Jesus stilling the storm, his disciples accused Him of not seeing their condition. "Master, do you not care that we are going to drown?" (Mk 4:38) I guess, if truth be told, Jesus did NOT care about their drowning because He saw as the Father saw; and what He saw was that they were indeed not going to drown. He saw, not the storm, but His assignment on the other side of the lake. He saw, not the wind and the waves, but His unquestioned dominion over them. And so He rested peacefully, seeing with Heaven's eye, in the midst of the waves.

Jonah saw as God saw. I know, Jonah was a rebel and a whiner, but when it counted most, in the depths of the waves, in the belly of a fish, he came to a place of seeing as God saw and so became the crowning "type" and example of Messiah's resurrection from the grave.

Jonah knew he had sinned; he knew he was worthy of God's wrath, and as he was flung off the side of the ship and felt the cold splash as salt water pummeled him into the depths I wouldn't blame him for being certain that he WAS going to drown and that God did NOT care. Somewhere between the beginning of that storm and the third day after becoming shark bait he began to see differently.

"From inside the fish Jonah prayed to the LORD his God. He said: 'In my
distress I called to the LORD, and he answered me.... You hurled me into the
deep, into the very heart of the seas, and the currents swirled about me.... I
said, 'I have been banished from your sight; yet I
will look again toward your holy temple.' The
engulfing waters
threatened me, the deep surrounded me.... To the roots of the mountains I sank
down.... But you brought my life up from the
pit, O LORD my God. When my life was ebbing away, I remembered you,
LORD.... ...I, with a song of thanksgiving, will sacrifice to you. What I have vowed I will make good.... And the LORD
commanded the fish, and it vomited Jonah onto dry land." (Jonah 2)

AFTER Jonah worshipped God for his rescue, God rescued him. In the midst of his grave he praised God for His salvation and made declaration of what would come. How did he know he would ever look again toward the temple? Why would he say that God brought, past tense, his life up from the pit? What on earth would make him think he'd ever get a second chance to fulfill his vows? Positive thinking? A sense of invincibility?
No.
Ayin.
An eye in the middle of the waves. He believed that God saw him AND he saw as God saw. Because of sight birthed in relationship he could declare his future as if it were the present.

Aiyin Continued

Thursday evening, Chuck Pierce word for 2010, continued from previous post. This is some deeper explanation of some of his previous bullet points....

Patterns

Genesis 6 - 8 "As in the days of Noah" God sees you.

"The Lord saw how great man's wickedness on the earth had
become, and that every inclination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil
all the time. The Lord was grieved that He had made man on the earth, and
His heart was filled with pain. So the Lord said, 'I will wipe mankind,
whom I have created, from the face of the earth....' But Noah found favor
in the eyes of the Lord" Gen 6:5-8 NIV

Receive favor.

God changes his mind when He gets tired of striving with people ("My spirit shall not strive with man forever" Gen 6:3 NASB)

Genesis 6:8 But. . . Grace. You do not have to fret over the judgements about to come on the world. Make an ark and make a window between heaven and earth. He will give His people new models. He is looking to favor you.

Genesis 28 See your ladder. (You have a whole season to find it). He'll show you how to climb out of the pit you've been in. You'll see angels interacting between heaven and earth. No more pit! You are not meant to stay in the pit. You will bring riches and treasures up with you.

Save those around you who are willing to be saved. He will show you who is willing. If they are not willing, move on.

Exodus 3 See your burning bush and make sure you know how God is going to move. God went and found Moses and called him "off the shelf". It is the same for us now, in this coming season. God is going to do stuff. When He does, He wants us to LOOK, turn aside, and find out what's going on. This is the end of the season of spectator sports. Now it's about participation, and it's going to take an act of your will.

Luke 24 Look again. Get past your last traumatic experience and loss. He is there. He is looking for you. (In the next three months, God is going to be dealing with the spirit of trauma. Trauma is like a snapshot that gets stored in your thinking capacity and colors everything else that comes in.) In Luke 24 Jesus comes upon the disciples on Emmaus Way who were despondently discussing the horror and disappointment of the fate of their king. Vs 16 says their eyes were restrained; they did not recognize Jesus when He showed up. Why? Because of what they were focusing on. They couldn't see him because of their emotions. Our emotional state creates the way we converse. Remember that Jesus is always close at hand. He hears what you talk and think about. You will become aware of His nearness. You will become aware of what you're saying and how you're saying it. You'll get to explain to Him how YOU see it.

But also pay attention to how/what others are seeing. The disciples KNEW the TRUTH -- the women who had been at the tomb told it to them, but they chose to believe the lie, just because they had not seen for themselves. So, will you believe what someone SAW? Or what someone (or yourself) did NOT SEE?

After they went on about their perspective, then He told them HIS perspective. {I have found this to be a wonderful, graceful quality of the Lord over the years. He listens to our hurts, anger, and whining, first, and then shows us a far better way, the truth from his vantage point.} Chuck says, when you're struggling with what to believe about something, first of all, at least believe the WORD! Jesus would have had lots to say to these doubting disciples, but he started with the scriptures, showing them how everything that happened was spoken beforehand. Then he suggested that was enough and that He would move on. But they constrained him, asking him to stay with them. They wanted more. Will we be satisfied with the simple explanation or will we constrain him for his Presence, His visitation, His abiding. He WILL take us past the flash of revelation and sit down with us and open our eyes to His presence.

The biggest thing this year: a New Level of Communion

Ayin: The Eye of the Lord

Thursdsay evening: Chuch Pierce

Chuck's message for the coming year was exciting to me. But he talked so fast with so much to say, had so many slides to copy, and gave a message peppered with spontaneous prophecy for the moment, it is hard to capture it all on paper. I will try my best and hope you get the gist. All of it of course is my paraphrase. If you are considering ordering any of the CD's or downloads from the conference, I would recommend this session foremost. Here's the Elijah List link: http://www.elijahshopper.com/ProductDetails.asp?ProductCode=EL01%2DCP015

He started out with a for-the-moment word for the local region that was based out of the wonderful worship that had just taken place: The Healing Well has JUST been opened up here. God says, "I will extend a cup to you at my Right Time; when it comes, drink it!"

Another now-word specifically for the people there that night followed: God says, I have raised up a prophetic troop with a hunger for this season. Because you've chosen this path, because you've sought me this way here, I will change the ground you walk on (as you go back to your homes.) I will open up the gate you could not get open before. I will bring in your children. Don't fret over them. I am calling in a generation that will seek me more than you have. Because you have sought me, I will give you my glory more than you have seen before and I will lead you forward and cut off the Pass behind you. {Whoo hoo! It is so good to read this again! If you have a hunger, claim this for yourself, even if you weren't there. This prophecy became very profound and real to me on the last night of the conference --though I didn't make a connection until just now. Also it seems to fit with what pastor Denny Cline has been speaking about lately... breakthrough, and pressing/passing through for the long-haul.}

It's a New Season! "Ayin"

We have crossed over into a new season. It is important to know God's calendar.
Your clock is therefore being re-established -- including even your bio-rythm.

The calendars of the world are important. On Dec 31, Wall Street declared that they have to start paying attention to the other calendars of the world (like the Hebrew calendar, probably Chinese calendar, etc) if they are going to succeed!

Supernatural faith is increasing boldness and breaking us out of a conventional-thinking mold. New Identity! You'll start saying: "I'm just becoming new without trying!!!"

2010 is :

• A time to transform


• A time to thresh -- throw it all up in the air and let God separate it out!


• A time to shout Grace -- it crumbles mountains


• A time to move mountains

This is the Hebrew year 5770 -- it begins a whole new decade -- we have entered a new 10 year period, so think Season, not just year. This means it is no longer a time for "coming full circle" as was last year/last season. It is a time for real breakthrough.

Ayin = 70 {as in the year 5770}

The symbol for this year is "ayin" which looks like a script lower case y.

(picture from Chuck Pierce's website http://www.gloryofzion.org/)
It means: a hand extended upward to heaven and a sword coming down from heaven that creates a new intersection. So, You've already come full circle, now it's time to move forward, and for ground to break open. {I presume because of the sword from heaven intersecting the earth where we are}

[Some say it looks like two snake heads rising up (that's what I thought it looked like), and some think it looks like new sprouts of wheat with their little heads lifted up. Both are significant.... more later]

Interjected... a prophecy for Oregon: Ground is breaking open that could not break open before. God will penetrate into the soil and bring His Spirit into our spirit. The well of our spirits is opening up.

"Ayin" means: "The Eye of the Lord is upon us", and the whole season is about eyes and seeing (supernaturally).

{Barbie Breathitt similarly prophecied this season being about ayin and seeing... see her word "The Year of the Seer" at http://www.elijahlist.com/words/display_word/8452 I assume she is going off of much of what Chuck as been saying since August; her word is excellent and much better than what I can explain here}

It is "the most supernatural season ever." The Supernatural realm will open up like never before. {Recall that Steve Shultz, before hearing Chuck's message, prophesied an increase of superatural encounters of seeing Jesus face to face!}

All 70s in the Bible are related to captivity being broken.
10 is always related to testimony.
7 is always related to completion.
Therefore -- Testing {and testimonies?} will be completed by the fullness of the season, which Chuck says is the end of March {Remember the Jewish year started last fall, not in January}

A time to see
Ayin = The Eye of the Lord is watching. So...

• Gain sight and vision in this season
• See eye to eye, face to face
• Always Look Again. Things become see-able in this season, so take a second look... Increase your aperature, pay attention to flashes and peripheral sights; record visions quickly, even if you don't understand or if you aren't sure of what you saw or whether you saw anything at all. Record it immediately and then ask for the meaning. God will give you the meaning if you are paying attention. --- Discipline your mind to capture flash thoughts. They are there to direct your life.
• See sprouts bud (the ayin symbol kind of looks like budding sprouts)
• It is a time to sparkle and gleam
• Spring forth! Bubble up. Especially prophetic revelation will bubble up in the next two years, then it will lessen. Be diligent to write and guard it.
• New wells
• Go beyond, go deeper
• Form a ladder and climb out of your hole/pit
• This is a time to nurture
• This will be a season of crime, hostility, and vexation (the evil eye) This has to do with superstition (which says if you don't do everything just right, God won't be happy with you), gambling (in terms of a bloodline issue) and mammon (concern over supply)

We are shifting from hearing to seeing. Seeing will cause your hearing to increase.